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Changing routines and why you are still fat…

Warning: Rant Alert!

Let me tell you a story…

aerobics

Teaching quite a lot of kettlebell classes for a fair number of gyms, my classes have to be accessable to anyone who decides to ‘just drop in and try it’. The kettlebell swing (a hip hinge) is at the same time a very simple and natural movement AND a hideously complex and alien one for people who’ve forgotten how to move. So I need to be able to provide a session similtaneously for amatuer athletes and complete beginners, which CAN be slightly problematic. Let me share a tale…

After teaching a kettlebell class at a facility so big and busy that it runs multiple classes similtaneously, I was leaving the small studio I teach in (small because the class is hard and works, not many people want to come to something that actually works…) and bumped into a lycra clad older lady who used to regularly attend class. She was with some other ladies and they’d clearly been ‘working out’ in one of the other classes. I said hello and commented in a friendly way that I hadn’t seen her for a while, and that I’d hopefully see her in class again. Then something I didn’t expect happened, with a slight degree of malice, venom and a cocky tilt of the head (I can only assume she was playing to her friends):

“Maybe if you changed your routine!”

And she and her cohort proceded to flounce away, giggling at the bewildered man they’d left behind. Initially I was a bit shocked, then angry, and then decided there was no need to be angry and that she clearly didn’t ‘get’ what we do.

But then… I’ve got no problem with people who don’t come back to class because they didn’t enjoy it. I hope that it wasn’t me that was the problem, and if it was I’d encourage anyone to come and tell me if I offended them, so I could apologise and alter my teaching strategy/attitute/etc.  If people don’t enjoy Kettlebells, circuits or spin then I’m not going to take personal offence.

But the comment stuck with me:

“change… your… routine…”

When I think of ‘routines’ in the context of health and fitness, I can’t help but think of 80’s style aerobic dance classes. The things that promised millions of women that they would lose weight, ‘tone up’ and have a luxurious perm (one out of three isn’t bad). We know now (hell, we knew then) that that sort of training is not the most efficient way of achieving those goals. The idea of a need to constantly change routines leads me to think that some people are required to be entertained whilst they ineffectually try to reduce their waist lines without sweating too much.  They want to think that they are doing something, but don’t actually want to put in the hard work of doing it. And if there is some sort of social support group to help them do nothing, then all the better.

Yes, you need to change the constituents of a fitness programme over a period of time, but you can do that by altering things like repetition, rests, load, time under tension, using complexes, pyraminds, chains, etc… What you don’t need to do is purely perform lots of different movements poorly and with little intensity.

Variety and progression

From my perspective, my first responsibility is the safety of my students. Effective fitness training includes resistance training, resistance training CAN be dangerous if performed incorrectly. So my job becomes ensuring that everyone in a class is performing movements safely first.  Once safe technique is learned we can start to introduce variety and progression.

With a kettlebell the two fundamental movements are the swing and the turkish get up. These ‘should’ be practiced somehow in pretty much every session to ensure that your developing a body that will be able to perform cleans, presses, snatches, windmills, overhead squats, jerks, etc.  From a hardstyle kettlebell perspective, we’re using the kettlebell to teach you how to move, then we use the ‘bell to load up those movement patterns and make them harder (so you are now doing something called ‘work’). Without practicing these two movements you’re creating a safety problem with regards to progressing to other techniques.

Change my routine… once you don’t suck at it!

In a general population kettlebell session (I would qualify this as a class which included people who looked at me blankly if I asked them to do a snatch, or if said ‘snatch’ looked more like a bad clean and press) we have to provide a session that everyone can do. You can’t move on until you are able to do the movements safely, you haven’t ‘earned’ progression. If you have, and the rest of the class are holding you back… USE A BIGGER ‘BELL!

Don’t complain to me your ass is the same size it was three months ago when you started coming to class if you’re still swinging a 6kg ‘bell! You haven’t stepped up your game! You don’t deserve a smaller ass!

Here’s a quick FAQ based around why you still have a big ass or a beer gut:

Why can’t we do ‘advanced’ movements and exercises – Because you’re still doing the basic ones wrong.

Why does it not work – Because you’re doing it wrong.

Why does it hurt – Because you’re doing it wrong.

How long until I see a difference – I don’t know, I only see you for less than 1 hour every 168hrs, I don’t know what you’re doing/eating the rest of the time. And you’re still… doing… it… wrong…

Progression is ‘earned’

In class we can still do variety in the main work of the class. Once we have the stability earned from swing and turkish get up we can play with a large array of things, starting with the exercises:

  • Two Hand Swing
  • One Hand Swing
  • Alternating Swings
  • Side Stepping Swings
  • Forward Stepping Swings
  • Get Ups/Get Downs
  • Cleans
  • High Pulls
  • Press
  • Squats
  • Lunge variations (dozens here)
  • Windmills
  • Use bodyweight exercises (planks, burpees, push ups, etc)

We can then do these exercises:

  • For reps
  • For time
  • In a complex
  • In a chain
  • In partner drills
  • etc

We can do them with a mixture of light and heavy weights, or even use two kettlebells of the same weight. With the fundamentals secured, we have a lot we can play with for variety.

Progression, in the case of a generic kettlebell class, can be measured or achieved in a number of ways:

  • USE A HEAVIER KETTLEBELL!
  • Do more repetitions
  • Do a harder variation
  • Do a more complex lift

My checklist as a coach is ‘Do it right’, ‘Do it heavy’, Do it more’ and ‘Do it with intention’. Once we have these four have been achieved we can increase the intensity by doing a more complex lift like the snatch or clean and jerk.

What we don’t do, is variety purely for the sake of entertainment. If that happens then we’re not spending the time on the fundamentals that we need to to be safe and create that solid foundation. Sure we need to avoid boredom and at the same time alter our training stimulus to keep making progress, but we still need to keep working those basic patterns.

Asses are earned

YouveComeALongWayBaby2

The reason your ass is fat after a year of ‘cardio classes’, apart from the fact you’re probably eating too much crap, is probably down to one of two things:

  1. You’ve been doing the exact same thing for a year (no alteration of load, rep scheme, intensity, etc)
  2. You’ve been jumping from fad to fad without taking the time to develop and maintain a foundation

So before you come to me looking to change your routine or add in some cool new move or method you read about in a magazine, think about those two points and decided whether you’ve earned it.

Be fit, be strong, be happy!